Joleen Cahill had a gnawing feeling in her stomach.
She was
at work on Thursday afternoon when she heard a gunman opened fire at
the Soldier Readiness Program at Fort Hood, Texas, the same place her
husband, Michael Cahill, worked as a physician's assistant.
Immediately, Joleen Cahill searched online to see if her husband was OK, but she found no answers.
She went to her Cameron home, where she and a friend huddled around the television.
"We
were sitting at home agonizing," said Cahill's daughter Keely Vanacker.
"We were calling every number, nobody could help, nobody could give us
an answer."
Cahill tried calling her husband. She got no answer.
"I knew that he wouldn't be able to call us, and I knew just to wait," she said. "I kept hoping that no news was good news."
She
held onto hope on news that those who were killed were all soldiers,
but at 11:15 that night, while she was on the phone with one of her
daughters, there was a knock at the door.
It was a military
representative there to tell her that her husband had been killed in
the attack -- the only civilian out of the 13 victims.
Cahill,
who works for a district attorney, said she knows that violence happens
and can't always be stopped, but she never thought it would hit so
close to home.
"I just didn't expect it would happen there -- at Fort Hood," she said.
Michael Cahill, 62, had worked for six
years at Fort Hood as a physician's assistant, helping soldiers
deploying and returning from overseas, after working as a rural doctor
and serving in the National Guard and U.S. Army Reserves.
He loved his job so much that he drove 60 miles in each direction to get to work each day.
Three
weeks ago, when Michael Cahill had a heart attack, he didn't want
anyone to worry. He called his son from the ambulance on the way to the
hospital, and didn't even mention it.
Cahill left his daughter
Kerry a message: "Yes it's a heart attack. Yes, I'm fine. Don't call
until this afternoon, I'll be fine."
A week later, he was back
on the job. He wasn't the kind of person to sit at home and wallow over
his heart attack, his family said.
"He was ready, he had to go back to work," Kerry Cahill said.
Family
members said they know had he not been killed, he would have been
trying to save the lives of others who were shot on Thursday.
"He would have been right there, he would have done what he could," Kerry Cahill said.
For Michael Cahill, work and family were his life.
When
he worked as a rural health care provider, he was on call 24 hours a
day, his family said. And he would make time for every single person
who called -- no matter what hour -- to try and help.
"He did
what he always thought was right. He supported his soldiers, he gave
them the best care that he could give them," Joleen Cahill said.
"Any
of his patients, any of the health centers he was at, even when it
meant putting his own career and his family's safety at risk. He stood
up for people and said what he thought was right."
Michael
Cahill was also passionate about the health care debate, sending
letters to legislators and writing messages online - all arguing for
universal healthcare and a public option.
James Cahill remembered his father as an intellectual man who read anything he could get his hands on and loved watching C-SPAN.
"He was a very intellectual person just like me -- he was someone I could talk to more than anyone else," James Cahill said.
He
was so smart -- his daughters joked -- that they altered the rules to
Trivial Pursuit to make him answer more questions because he would
always win.
The family chose to remember those memories, rather than focus on Maj. Nidal Hasan, the suspect in the shooting.
"He's
not the person I'm thinking about," Keely Vanacker said. "I'm thinking
about my dad. He was a great person and it's going to be a great loss."
Family
members stressed, however, they hope there isn't a backlash against
Muslims because of the attack. It was one man's decision to unload his
weapons, they said, and a larger group certainly shouldn't be held
responsible.
"Being so angry at one group of people -- that's not going to bring my dad back," Keely Vanacker said.
Kerry
Cahill, still wearing her father's plaid shirt that she just couldn't
take off yet, became emotional when asked what she would miss most
about her father.
"What would you miss if your
dad died?" she asked before pausing, as if to give time to think of all
of the memories anyone might have of their father. "I'll miss that."